How come....

How come my kids think I am kidding when I say things like:

• "If you don't get into the shower, I am going to sic a wild boar on you."
• "You are about to be sent to a special school."
• "You are so stinky that I can smell you from here."
• "Some things in this house belong to momma."
• "My first batch of kids didn't listen, either. Do you see them around here anywhere?"
• "Drinking pond water will stunt your growth."
• "Being short and cute doesn't mean you cannot get into trouble."
• "Put that down. I know what you are thinking."
• "Rules apply even if momma cannot see you."

These and other utterances are met with explosive laughter by Those Who Walk with Short Strides. I'm not laughing.

Well, maybe I am smirking a little.